The check marks......

Christmas morning, I felt a huge sigh of relief that the holidays were almost over. I know that's not what I should be thinking or how I should be feeling on Christmas morning, but the truth is, I just couldn't wait for it to be over.

It became exhausting trying to avoid the holiday c​o​n​v​e​r​s​a​t​i​o​n​s and trying to be pleasant for others when really, I have been bitter, angry, sad and jealous. Yes, jealous. I'm jealous that so many get to celebrate their holiday with their whole family. I'm jealous that their biggest worries were what to buy or what to cook. I really just wanted to scream to so many people how lucky they are. But that's not fair to them that they've been blessed with healthy (and living fathers).

But, we have all made it through the first year of holidays, and we simply put a check mark on it, and wait for the next thing/holiday to come, so we can check it off..... it simply is only a check mark.

Happy New Year!

Well, since its January 3, 2011 and my last post was in September 2010, its about time to post.

A LOT has happened in 2010, and I am not going to mention them, but instead concentrate on 2011 and making it the best year.

SO here is to 2011~!!!

Happy Bday to my nephew Rowen

The 8th of Sept, my nephew Rowen turned 1. Although he was not feeling the best, we had fun. We went with grandpa to North Platte for his treatment, then we went to the park and ran ran ran! We saw some elk, deer, geese and a peacock.
My sis in law ( Rowens momma) made some Mexican food for dinner, and Rowen ate all the black olives off first then dipped them in the sour cream before eating the rest of the dinner.
Then we sang Happy Bday to him, and let him blow out his candle on the cupcake. Then he began to smash.... it was not as big of a mess as I had thought it was going to be, he didnt like his hands all messy. So he got a quick bath.
It was a fun day with him.
Oh Rowen how you are loved.
** I still cant load post pic sorry, anybody else having this issue?

GO Huskers!

On Sept 11, 2010
I as well as my parents, sister, aunt, uncle and cousin went had our moment of silence remembering 9 years ago, at the HUSKER Stadium in Lincoln, NE. We were there for the football game watching NE pound South Dakota State.

This was my mom and my sister's first game~! My dad had been back in the 70's, and I a few times in college. But we were able to spend time together as a family and that is what was important. It was a perfect sunny day with a slight breeze.

***Not sure why I cant do pic anymore, I will have to ask my blogger friend why... cuz I know these posts are not as fun w/o pic!

Fair...the tough lesson

My 11 year old niece has been doing 4-H for quite a while, but not until last year did she begin to show animals. She at first did sheep and pig. Last year she received a purple ribbon on her pig Steve. Well, when it came down to saying "goodbye". She began to have a breakdown, so my lovely brother told her that the pig was going to live on a pig farm in Colorado with me. HUMMM.......luckily for me she has been so busy with other things she has never asked! Thank God, however.... that was Thanksgiving dinner... she still does not know.

So this year so showed her sheep, pig and added a steer. She did great with the sheep and the steer, and the pig too ( even tho that is not her favorite, she has a pig named mabyleine as she looks like she has eyeliner on hehe), she got ribbons of all colors with these animals. And is actually taking her sheep (champ) to state fair. But since this was her first year with the steer, my brother encouraged her to spend more time with the steer whom she names Bubbs, and get to know him. She was supposed to massage him, talk to him, brush him etc... as well as all the normal things you do to get your steer ready for show.

The day finally arrived where she was able to show off her hard work with all the animals, but she was especially excited about Bubbs. He eventually got her a purple ribbon! ( that is the best you can get), she was overly excited!
However, the truck game later that day to load all the cattle including hers to be taken to the "PLACE" I wont even say the word, as it breaks my heart to type it. And poor Jasmine lost it. She was laying on Bubbs, rubbing his face and crying as hard as I have ever seen her cry. She was honestly told this time around where he was going. I was trying to hold back the tears too, and tried to tell her that he is going to help some kids who need to eat, so they wont starve... and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say! The crying got more intense as she told me, "I dont care!!" over and over again. Eventually she was pulled off Bubbs and we walked away. NOT looking back.

Lessons like this are tough to learn, and it was breaking my heart all over again for her. I think she is fine now, but we will see if she wants to show a steer next year or not!

**** I am having a hard time getting pictures to attach to the entrys, so I will work on a pic of Jasmine and Bubbs

Ice Cream Truck.....

My friend has a couple Ice Cream trucks, and last week, I was fortunate to be able to work in it on a Sunday afternoon. I honestly have never bought from an Ice Cream truck, so was not really sure what to expect..... oh goodness! They are busy! I was kinda like a kid in a candy store in being all excited and pointing to this and that, and not being able to make up their minds. When they finally did make up their minds... they would hand me a penny. Well, unfortunately you cant get anything on the truck for a penny. So, I gave in and bought them all am otter pop ( they were a dime a piece.) So, I realized that I could never make it in the ice cream truck world, I feel to sorry for the kiddos that don't have any money to buy it, and I would spend all my earnings buying for those kids.

It was a fun afternoon, and I was a sticky mess from the snow cones, but over all I would love to do it again sometime!

bittersweet again.....

So remember the kiddo named Ry I was telling you about a couple months ago? Tonight I had dinner with his mom and this is what she shared with me....


Someone gave me a scenario the other day that helps describe how we feel. What if your father beat you half to death one day and then the very next day, wanted to be father of the year? How would you, as a child, feel about a man that tortured you one minute and told you he loved you the next? That is how we feel about God these days. The Bible says to honor thy father and thy mother, it does not say honor them only if they don't beat you, they don't molest you, they don't treat you any better then they would an animal. I am sure if you were beat physically and verbally by your mother every day of your life, if you were molested by your father every single day of your childhood, you would not be so ready to forgive and let by-gones be by-gones. That is how we feel about God these days. No, we don't go out and curse him, we don't physically shake our fist towards the sky. We just don't chose to praise him daily and we don't go worship him at his home. And we think God is okay with that, after all, he knew how we would feel when we lost Ry, he knew how long it would take for us to come around, to forgive him.

I share that with you as it is pulling at my heart for this family.....