Monday, April 27, 2009


This is Ian. I could not get it to load earlier for some reason. He is here with Michael Phelps.
Please see the below entry, to make sense of this picture.

Michael Phelps & Ian

He's My Son

So a while back in my blog I talked about a patient who's sibling I had met with who were telling me "Gotta Have Faith". I once again talked to those siblings today, but it was not about "having faith" My sweet Ian passed away this morning at 06:30 after a 14 month battle with a very rare form of cancer, that was supposed to take his life last Feb when he was diagnoised. He was given 6-8 weeks, having that cancer did not stop him. Ian went on his Make-A- Wish to Hawaii, was able to scuba dive, he played some of the best games of soccer he could have ever have played. He became the Olympic Training Center's star honarary athlete, and did numorus other things that he loved to do.
You have to understand that this was a kid that if someone told him he could not do it because he had cancer, he would push even harder to get that accomplished. There were many times in the past few months that we thought he was passing, but he battled back, shocked all the medical staff, as we would stand there and say, "well, thats Ian for ya!" His family continually had the faith that he would be healed... I have been around a lot of families and I have to say that this family "HAD the FAITH" like no other. He fought the great fight and won the battle........... but with the Angels. I learned a lot about faith and a lot about my own faith through his battle.

There is a song by Mark Shultz called "He's My Son", and the words would not stop running through my head in the wee hours of this morning... It makes sense to me now. That song became Ian's song for the past few days...but his family had the Faith that God would heal him once again. I am going to paste a blurb from his father's journal yesterday afternoon:

Yesterday afternoon I had a profound time alone with Ian. He was alert and seemed to be "with" us. Tears were flowing as I said something like this: "Ian, I'm sure that somehow in the midst of all this Jesus is making Himself known to you in amazing and personal ways. And we want you to know that however HE is leading you, we want you to follow HIM. As far as we can understand His leading, we believe that He intends to heal you. But if He is clearly telling you that He wants you to leave us and go home to be with Him, then we want you to do that. I really mean that. Even though in the coming hours and days you'll hear us intensely battling for your healing in prayer, if Jesus Himself is calling you home, go for it. Dont' worry about disappointing us. That would be very hard for us, but we'd be happy for you. HOWEVER, if you hear Jesus calling you to fight, then I want you to FIGHT with all you have. I know this has been incredibly hard for you. But if Jesus is telling you to fight, then He will strengthen you. Don't lose heart, son. Just follow Jesus however He leads you. And He will enable you."

Then I strapped in for battle, and kept at it for hours with a few breaks. Later one of the dear nurses was marvelling at Ian and said, "He is is fighting so hard!" And my father's heart rose with hope that Ian had heard his orders from Jesus, and my heart swelled with pride over my son's response.

Ian finally had the permission to stop fighting, and let go and go. As hard as it is for all of us, we know that he is once again the kids with the longer hair that is running on the soccer fields and loving life, as he is "God's Son" forever more.
please remember this family:

Here is the link to the song:

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Dreamed a Dream

I wanted to share something that someone sent me to watch early this morning - a phenomenal video of Susan Boyle auditioning
for "Britain's Got Talent." This video has gone viral and it is well worth watching. The link is: I'm mentioning it here because I see a poignant link with how things seem to be going in life. Sometimes things are simply not as they appear. Susan Boyle looks like an awkward homely unemployed woman. When she walked on stage everyone was laughing at her. But when she opened her mouth and sang, everyone was stunned. She brought the laughing crowd to their feet in awe.

But she did not just sing with a phenomenal voice. She sang a song that told her own story, and the story of so many:
"I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine un-tasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dreams to shame...

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

Many live carrying dead dreams like a stillborn child. I've felt like that at times. I'm a dreamer to say the least. When I came to Christ about 21 years ago I believed all that He said and obeyed all that I learned because I didn't know any better. I was young and naive and hadn't "learned" that there are parts of the Bible that we Christians learn to ignore or explain away. I continued dreaming for many years, in reckless abandoned obedience. Then I got cautious. Then I got hurt. Then I played with sin. Then I lost some of that holy fire. And I longed to have it back. I secretly longed for that dream that had died somewhere along the way. And I prayed that God would resurrect it.

Then He led me into my own personal little hell. And somehow in the midst of that furnace, my dreams are being reborn.

Some are afraid for us. Some fear that we'll find ourselves singing our own version of "I Dreamed a Dream" when our dream will have died a painful death. But I don't think so. I think that our God is very good at bringing dead things to life. I think that our God comes out at night, when the tigers come out, to shine His light in the darkness and to chase the tigers away.

In thinking of all of this, I found this scripture:

1 Peter 5:8-11 8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. 10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. 11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.

As it seems in my life right now, I see so many dreams that being shattered by cancer. It hurts me and is eating me alive to think about these children, and all the hopes and dreams they have and how "life has killed the dream". I am also attaching a link to a video of so many of the faces I have come to know and love that are fighting for their dream......

Are you dreaming your dream??????